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Around Town: News we can’t make up

January 22, 2013

BY PAT ORR
Apple Valley Review

From the “so you want to be in human resources” file, we have a report that the Social Security Administration has withdrawn a reprimand issued to an employee for “excess flatulence” in the workplace. The constant noise and odor caused complaints from coworkers, which resulted in a date and time stamped log of 60 “incidents” being recorded, which further resulted in detailed and rather hilarious documented warnings.

When the issue hit the news, the agency withdrew the reprimand. Apparently the poor fellow is lactose intolerant and can’t help himself.

Now our suspicion that most federal agencies are full of hot air is at last confirmed.

By the way, go easy on your husband — experts say an “average” person passes gas 14 times a day.

New jobs and new construction

It was great to see 1st District Supervisor Robert Lovingood at the Apple Valley Chamber of Commerce Luncheon as the installing officer for the new board. The new chairperson, Colleen Hunt, also happens to be an employee of Lovingood’s firm ICR Staffing.

He introduced a few new supervisorial staff members and promised to complete his staff placements by month’s end.

One bit of good news I pulled out of Planning Commissioner Jason Lamoreaux is that 23 new homes will be built near Riverside Drive on lots previously abandoned when home prices fell through the floor. Not a bunch, but it is a start.

Elephants clean out the trunk

The Republican Party is set to retool through new leadership. Long time Inland Empire political powerhouse Jim Brulte will take the reins of the state party with everyone’s blessing. His ability to raise money and stay on message is profound and needed.

In San Bernardino County, a fight for chairman of the party is brewing between Assemblyman Curt Hagman, R-Chino Hills, and Robert Rego, a San Bernardino accountant who is the current chair and would like to return. The San Bernardino County Republican Party has struggled for years with a poor reputation for achieving its goals to register more Republican voters and find good candidates.

Local Republicans finally gave up the High Desert headquarters for lack of funds last month. It’s odd that the GOP — always labeled as the party that protects “fat cats” — is stone cold broke in California.

A ‘Buffaloon’ loose in Covina

You may inquire as to what a “Buffaloon” is exactly. Well, it’s a rare animal that migrates to Sacramento from all over our fair state and is a cross between a buffoon and a loony bird.

Assemblyman Roger Hernandez, D-West Covina, is our “Buffaloon” of the month. He’s a lucky buffoon because domestic violence charges against him by his “girlfriend” were dropped for “lack of evidence.” His job as Assembly Majority Whip apparently went to his head because the police report stated that his girlfriend claimed he whipped her with a belt on at least one occasion.

What makes him a loony bird is his legislative idea, introduced last week, to replace the Columbus Day holiday with Native American Day. Because as all good progressives know, that rotten Columbus was the one who started the entire “kill off Native Americans” movement, even though poor old Chris never did actually find what we now call America.

I have a feeling this idea may have more to do with hope for future contributions from Native American-owned casinos than a disdain for Columbus.

Pat Orr is a local business owner, community volunteer and political junkie.

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